Before you say ‘I do’
Understanding marriage as a legal contract
This week, a young woman reached out to me in distress not for emotional advice, but for legal clarity about her marriage. She had assumed the home she lived in and the car she drove were part of their shared marital assets. However, after their wedding, she discovered that both were registered under her husband’s company. Later, she learned that the company itself was owned by his parents. When she asked her husband if her name would ever be added to the property title, his response was a firm, “No, it’s a company asset.”
Confused and concerned, she asked me: “What does this mean for me?”
I advised her to seek legal counsel and provided a trusted lawyer’s contact.
But her situation, like many others I’ve encountered, reinforced a truth too often overlooked: Marriage is not just about love and romance; it is a legally binding contract that affects your assets, finances, and parental rights.
Too many people enter marriage believing love alone will carry them through. But beyond romance and companionship, marriage is a legal institution that comes with enforceable rights and obligations. These include ownership of assets, debt responsibility, custody and parental rights, inheritance and succession, and much more.
Recently I posted a short video to my social media pages highlighting some of these issues. The responses to this topic were telling:
“It’s sad that we see marriage only in the context of material possessions. Marriage is about so much more than financial security.”
“Marriage is a covenant between God and the couple. But no one wants to hear about the legal aspects men and women alike get cold feet when you bring it up.”
“This is solid advice. As you said, it’s not just about love; you need wisdom to protect yourself.”
“I support this message. I’d never consider marriage without a well-thought-out prenup. Most of my assets will go into a trust.”
“Marriage is a sacrament, not a business. It’s a calling from God, not just a contract.”
There were hundreds of comments which reveal a fundamental tension: Some people view marriage as sacred emotional bond ordained by God, while others recognise its legal and financial implications.
Both perspectives can coexist. Marriage can be a profound spiritual commitment while also being a legally binding contract with real-world consequences.
Indeed, no one enters marriage expecting it to fail, but failing to prepare for the legal realities of marriage can lead to devastating consequences. Understanding property rights, business ownership structures, prenuptial agreements, custody laws, inheritance laws, and financial obligations is not unromantic; it’s just responsible.
One of the most emotionally charged and legally complex aspects of marriage is custody and parental rights. Many assume they will automatically have custody of their children if a marriage ends, or that parental rights will be shared equally. But custody laws vary by jurisdiction, and without prior legal agreements the courts, not parents, decide the outcome.
I’ve seen cases in which a spouse relocates to another country, making it nearly impossible for the other parent to maintain a relationship with the child. I’ve also seen parents blindsided by the reality that financial obligations for children such as education, health care, and other expenses continue long after divorce. These can cause confusion, stress, and financial strain.
Therefore, before a couple enters into marriage, if they plan to have children, they should ask themselves: Do we agree on how children will be raised, including their education, religion, and values? What are the custody and parental rights laws where we live? In the event of separation, how would financial and legal responsibilities for children be handled?
Additionally, destination weddings are increasingly popular, but many couples don’t realise that getting married in another country can affect the legal rules governing their marriage, divorce, and parental rights. Most countries recognise foreign marriages if they meet the legal requirements of the country where they took place. However, some jurisdictions require couples to register their marriage upon returning home for it to be legally valid.
But which country’s laws apply if the marriage ends? Marriage laws in the country where the wedding occurs dictate the legal requirements, such as age, witnesses, and officiants. Divorce laws, however, will typically be governed by the country where you or your spouse reside or where you file for divorce. This will affect the division of assets and custody determinations.
Couples should also be aware that some countries follow community property laws, where marital assets are split equally, while others apply separate property rules, meaning ownership depends on whose name is on the asset. For example, if you have children and one parent relocates, international custody laws may come into play. The Hague Convention, an international treaty, can also determine the legal outcome in cases of child abduction.
Moreover, while prenuptial agreements can help clarify asset ownership and which laws will apply in case of divorce, not all countries recognise foreign prenups, so it is essential to consult legal counsel before marrying abroad. In some cases, couples may be subject to multiple legal systems, especially if they come from different countries.
Therefore, before you say “I do” take a moment to reflect: Do I understand how marriage affects my existing assets and future financial rights? Have we discussed ownership structures, shared responsibilities, and financial planning? Have we considered how marriage impacts our parental rights and responsibilities if we have children? Am I entering this commitment with full legal and financial clarity?
Marriage is more than a celebration and symbol of two people’s love for each other; it’s a binding legal contract that can shape your financial future, parental rights, and personal security. Love may be universal, but the laws governing marriage are not. Before saying “I do”, ensure you’re not just prepared for the wedding day but for the legal realities that come with a lifetime commitment no matter where in the world you choose to wed.
Lisa Hanna is Member of Parliament for St Ann South Eastern, People’s National Party spokesperson on foreign affairs and foreign trade, and a former Cabinet member.
Lisa Hanna